Fairy Magick

Well, the fairies seemed to want that last post all to themselves. They've come up a lot for me lately, as I'm currently reading a chapter book with my little witch called Ruby the Red from the Rainbow Fairy collection. Also, the fairy trees we made this winter are colorful little pops of energy when you stare out the back door into the yard. They always make me smile. Here's a picture:

 It's not the best visual, but there are three containters: a lady bug, dragonfly, and blue glass vase that each holds one wish from each of my little people here at the house. They're a little water logged from the recent rains, but the ink has washed away and the bottoms of the vase are filled with colorful pink water, which makes the girls think there's magick at work.

I've mentioned before that my fairy cards are in hiding, and it's been part of my goal to unearth them, along with countless other items that have yet to be unpacked from our last move. I could use a little help from them, as what I'm doing doesn't seem to be working.

This past weekend I met up with Gypsy Girl at a borrowed beach house up north. We spent some time playing with our cards and catching up on the details of our lives, and it was restorative as all get out. We also linked up with Elfin One, a bit, on the phone, and it was great to be all together in the same place, albeit briefly. I am so lucky to have enduring friendships that evolve right along with me, and I know that tending to them with texts, email and calls is another way to connect to Spirit, as these relationships feed me in a way that no others do.

I have begun to struggle a little with one of my relationships, however, because I can't understand why a dear friend is unwilling to live her best life. Listen to me, all powerful one over here who thinks she knows it all. But really, it's hard sometimes to sit back and watch someone you love not take that next step that will make her happy, that will fill her up with purpose and power, and that will let her be her very best self. It's actually more than hard--it's agonizing. I want so much to help, to push just a little harder, to help her to see that it's okay to be scared, but that sometimes the best change comes from the scariest starting point. But how can I do this? What's my place in this friendship? What are my rights? The part of me that knows how not to ruin the friendship sits and quietly supports. But the part of me that wants to be fed by truth, by absolute and essential truth, can't stand it anymore. There's sometimes a great amount of pretending that goes on, and frankly, my bullshit-o-meter is at zero. I'm tired of pretending, and tired of trying to dance around the very large elephant sitting in the center of every single conversation we have.

On Thursday, I have my next Covenant Circle meeting, and our topic is "Suffering," which comes at a good time for me, clearly. I think I'll introduce this idea of suffering in the friendship I'm struggling with, as I'm not sure that my sweet friend realizes that she's got to be getting fed somehow by this suffering on some level. We all do this, I think, unknowingly. I am having such difficulty watching it unfold any longer. It doesn't help that there's a level of addiction being fed, as there's fundamentally something that's broken at the heart of it all. I just wish I could stop being so angry about it and move back to where I've been for years now, sending love and light, praying, being supportive. But this makes me suffer.  What to do?

In the way of true cowards, I can speak freely about it on this post because my friend doesn't read this blog. And I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate hearing about my trouble with the friendship in such an open forum. But it helps me to recognize that once you open the door on truth, you can just shut it again and pretend it never was opened.